


30 Days of Her

by Letitbe1250



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander (TV) RPF, Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Gay, Lesbian Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:27:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29367744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letitbe1250/pseuds/Letitbe1250
Summary: This is set during J/C 20 year separation.Claire and Frank are married but already separated.Claire gets a young medical student assigned to study medicine under her for a month.This young woman, quite understandably, finds Doctor Claire Randall very attractive (:Can Claire manage to let herself go and just allow her thoughts to melt away and just focus on what she feels?I thought it was fun to explore this version of Claire. She is a half-shell of a person without Jamie. How does that affect her ability to be physical with another person?This is a F/F fic so if that ain't ya business, mind ya business. <3
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser, Claire Beauchamp/Original Character(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 39
Collections: QueerlanderChronicles





	30 Days of Her

**Author's Note:**

> My girls. 
> 
> You know who you are. My fellow GATR babes.  
> You stunning and talented creators.  
> You melliflous songbirds of support.  
> You inspirational and dysfunctional group of KWEENS. 
> 
> I absolutely adore each of every one of you. This would not be what it is without you.

**Day 29  
**

I ran my hand down her body and brushed my fingers against the inside of her thigh.

**Day 1**

I sighed as a plopped down into my desk chair after a particularly difficult surgery. Joe should be finishing his own tough surgery soon enough and, per tradition after long surgeries, we would share a bit of a dram. As my hand reached for my bottom drawer, I stopped, sighing again as I sat back in my chair, hand empty. I was supposed to be meeting an intern in five minutes. I guess you could call them an intern. Technically, it was a student in med school. She was coming today to shadow me for the next month.

This mentor program was started years ago at my hospital but I refused to be a part of it for a long time. Last year, Brianna started her senior year of high school and well, I guess I was ready to start spending even more time at the hospital (even though according to Frank that would have been impossible).

I’ve had a handful of students so far and I’ve actually quite enjoyed it. Part of me has always been so focused and driven that I never considered how much I would rekindle my love for medicine by slowing down and taking the time to teach it to someone else. As it turns out, I kind of like having a young apprentice look up to me and learn from me. My last intern, however, had left me with a bitter taste in my mouth for the incoming doctors of the world. He was lazy, arrogant, and all of the things I don’t have the patience for. I gave him hell. He didn’t return after Day 5.

It was because of this last experience, that I was rather reluctant to have a new protégé.

Checking the clock, I noted that they were now three minutes late. _Not a great start, newbie._ With nothing to do but wait, I worked on updating some charts and then stood from my desk and moved across the office I shared with Joe to begin putting some files away.

Someone knocked on the door and I answered, “Come in!”

I heard the door open and I finished tucking away my last folder before turning around, silently thinking to myself that this one would probably be gone by Day 3.

**Day 29**

I grabbed her arms and slammed them into the door behind her.

I leaned in to whisper against her lips, our eyes connected the whole time, “We may not be at the hospital…but make no mistake…” I pressed into her even more tightly, our lips just touching, “…I am still in charge here.”

**Day 1**

When I turned around, she looked frazzled. That was the first thing I noticed. She had three bags around her arms, her chocolate hair was falling into her face on one side, and her green eyes looked wild.

“Oh.” She said softly, but I heard it. She stared at me, her mouth open slightly and her eyes not blinking. I saw her eyes widen and then make their way down the length of my body and then back up to land on my own eyes again. She gulped visibly and I suddenly felt heat bloom in my chest from the way she was taking me in.

I cleared my throat, my eyes diverting away from hers for a moment. I was wearing simple heels and skin colored stockings under a knee length A-line skirt. My blouse was a silk maroon number but the neckline dipped a little lower than some of my other shirts. I became surprisingly self-conscious…was she judging my outfit? Surely that was all it was.

She shook her head slightly, as if she had been in a trance, and then spoke, “I’m-I’m sorry…I’m supposed to be meeting a Dr. Randall…is this not his office?” She turned and checked the front of the door which read **Dr. C Randall & Dr. J Abernathy**. 

“You’re late.” I said as I began walking back over to my desk.

“I know but I kept getting lost, you don’t think he’s going to yell at me do you? I’ve heard Dr. Randall is a bit of a hard ass and won’t hesitate to kick me out—”

Having arrived at my desk, I reached for my white coat on the back of my chair and nonchalantly tossed it around my back, sliding my arms effortlessly through the sleeves. It was at that moment that she stopped rambling and her mouth sat open as she watched me sit down, cross my legs, fold my hands over each other on my desk, and then look up at her.

She stood frozen as I smiled and reached out a hand to casually scoot the name plate on my desk a half inch to the left.

After another moment of silence, I cleared my throat again, “Dr. Claire Randall. Pleasure to meet you….” I peeked over onto my papers in front of me, “Juliette West?” I looked at her for confirmation but all she did was finally close her mouth and swallow.

“Well, now that we’ve established that you are Juliette West and that I am the hard ass, let’s establish why it is that you were seven minutes late today.”

I gestured a hand for her to sit in the chair in front of my desk. She sat and then licked her lips before speaking. She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and I found myself staring at her slim and delicate fingers.

“Firstly, I am so sorry for saying that…I—I guess I tend to ramble when I’m nervous…I had no idea that you…that Dr. Randall was…that you…” She stopped and took a deep breath. Her cheeks flushed pink.

Something deep in my stomach pulled in satisfaction, “I make you nervous?” I smirked and raised an eyebrow at her.

She puffed a breath out as if she suddenly realized she had not been breathing. “Uh, yeah, I mean look at you—” she stopped abruptly halfway through the word “you” and then her eyes fled from mine and down into her lap as she continued to ramble on. I was beginning to think that perhaps she had not been looking at my outfit after all.

“I mean…no I just…didn’t realize that you would be a woman. All I get told in school is how hard it is to become a female surgeon and so…”

I smiled. I recognized an excuse when I heard one but chose to believe her. Sexism in my field was a topic I was very familiar with.

“Yes, well that is true. As females, we have to work twice as hard to get into the same positions as the men and we have very little room for error. Even the smallest of things can push us out. Being late, for example.” I gave her a pointed look.

“I’m so sorry—it won’t happen again.”

“Good. Because you can’t be late when someone’s life is on the line. Or else they die.”

Juliette looked up at me in shock. I waited and saw the moment she realized that I was not kidding. She straightened her face and nodded at me, “I understand.”

The door burst open, “Lady Jane!” Joe called out as he entered the room. He stopped when he saw the girl at my desk.

“My apologies! Don’t mean to interrupt.”

I smiled at him, “Joe, this is my student shadow for the next 30 days, Juliette West. Juliette, this is Dr. Abernathy.”

They exchanged greetings as Joe made his way to his desk. I looked back to Juliette and found her staring at the space between my open white coat and the v-neck of my blouse. As soon as I looked at her, though, her eyes bolted back up to my face. I felt that same pull in my stomach that I was not sure I could quite place. You could almost classify them as nervous butterflies but those only happened when I was attracted to someone and…surely that wasn’t it.

“Alright, then. Tonight you will come with me on my evening rounds, and I’ll show you where most of the places that you will need to know are located. I have some post-op patients to see so you will come with me for that as well. I guess you will need to see those charts…” I stood up and walked to the filing cabinets once again and, bending down, opened the bottom one and pulled some folders out. Standing up and turning around, I once again witnessed Juliette’s eyes bouncing from somewhere on my lower body back up to my face. She stood and took the charts from me, blushing furiously.

“Take these out to the nurses’ station at the end of the hall. Have one of them go through them with you, I want you to be familiar with each of them by the time we need to do the post-op rounds in an hour.” I said firmly and as I handed them off, my left fingers brushed against her right fingers and I saw a slight flinch in her face.

“Yes, Doctor.” She nodded, looking down, and grabbed her things and made her way out the door.

After she left, I looked at Joe and laughed, “Kids.”

Joe laughed heartily, leaning back in his chair. “Well, kid she might be but she’s got grown up eyes for you, Lady Jane.”

My mouth practically fell to the floor before I quickly recovered and eyed him quizzically, “Really, Joe? You say that about every student I mentor.”

He laughed, “That may be true but I’ve never seen it this bad. When you bent over, she stared at your ass like it was going to be her last meal.” He laughed even harder as I gaped.

“Oh stop, that is not true.” I said, but my voice wavered. _So, I was right in thinking that I saw that…_

I won’t deny that it has been true for the students I have mentored so far. I am not a woman with low self-esteem, I won’t pretend that I don’t see the way the young men in the program and hospital look at me. But it’s easy for me to chalk it up to career infatuation. There’s something scientifically attractive about learning from someone older than you.

Not that it ever mattered, the students may think I’m attractive, but they are also too scared of me to do anything about it.

**Day 29**

I kept the hand that was on the headboard there but brought my other hand to the back of her head. I made eye contact with her so she could see the fire in my eyes and know how serious I was, “Juliette…”

I emphasized the sultriness of my voice to satisfy her and then I pushed her face back in between my legs and said firmly but breathlessly…

**Day 20**

“Dr. Randall!”

I turned to see Juliette racing down the hallway towards me. I stopped to let her catch up.

“How did rounds go this morning?” I asked her.

We walked as we talked, our arms brushing against each other every now and then on accident.

“Good. Mr. Reddick’s incision site looks great and his BP levels are fine. Mrs. Lickett was complaining of chest pain which turned out to just be heartburn.”

We both rolled our eyes, Mrs. Lickett was a classic complainer.

I interrupted her report, “What were Mr. Field’s CT results?”

“I’m on my way to get them now.”

“I’ll come with you.” I answered and she seemed to smile at herself as we walked. Mr. Fields came in a few weeks ago and we had been working on his case furiously, as it was a baffling one. We both cared a lot about it.

She was holding an envelope in one hand.

I pointed to it, “What’s that?”

“Oh, nothing!”

I raised an eyebrow at her.

She sighed, “It’s from a hospital in California…about their summer intro-to-residency program.”

I stopped walking. And then I was embarrassed at why. My first thought when she said that was, _She won’t be coming back to do her residency here?_ And I had stopped walking. Now my second thought was, _Why do I care?_

I realized she was staring at me, probably wondering the same thing.

I cleared my throat and started walking again. I tried to sound casual, “Oh? You’re-uh-you’re not doing the summer program here then?”

I couldn’t see her face because I was trying to look anywhere else.

“I don’t know yet. I have been offered the position here but also a few other hospitals. I applied for them all months ago…I didn’t know if I would like it here.”

“And do you?” I turned now to look at her. We both stopped walking.

She didn’t say anything at first so I spoke again, “I mean, you have a week left here. I guess we may as well talk about your time here with us…with me. Did you—I mean, did you like it?”

I felt like I sounded so insecure, I had never felt this flustered before when going through a debrief. That’s what this was, was it not? A simple debrief.

She looked me in the eyes and her hand came to rest on my hand which was clutching some folders to my chest. “I did like it. Learning from you…watching you…was…” she shook her head in disbelief, “unbelievable. You helped me realize that I could make it as a female surgeon. I…I truly think you are brilliant.”

I swallowed thickly as her eyes stared into mine and thought back to when I had heard her say that very same thing when she didn’t know I could hear.

**Day 7**

I placed my head into my hands. This case had me absolutely baffled. No matter what tests I ran, I could not figure out why Mr. Fields was having the symptoms that he was having. I had just spent the last hour with my nose in a medical book looking for obscure solutions. I finally rested my eyes, feeling them burn as I closed my eyelids.

I could hear voices approaching the nurses station on the other side of the window from where I was currently slumped over. The blinds were closed so I couldn’t see out but the door was cracked and I could hear Juliette speaking once the voices arrived.

“Seriously?” She asked someone.

Another voice answered, I recognized him as a first-year resident who used to be a student intern for one of my colleagues, “I’m serious. She totally ran him out, she was so hard on him that he just left and never came back! I’m telling you, there’s a reason we call her the monster.”

I flinched. I knew enough about what people thought of me to know they were talking about me. I had heard rumors and whispers of this so-called nickname. Not very clever and they surely should be able to come up with something better, I thought. Sometimes I could feel shame on my cheeks when I thought about it, but overall, I didn’t care what people thought of me. The people I cared about know that I can be a loving person, and that’s all that matters.

Juliette spoke again, “I mean, yeah she’s tough but she’s also brilliant.” I raised an eyebrow at that.

She continued, “Maybe he quit because he wasn’t cut out to be a doctor?”

I smirked at her response. They were talking about my last intern.

A third person spoke then, a female nurse, “You’re just saying that because you think she’s hot.”

I gasped and waited to hear if Juliette would confirm this claim.

However, the male resident spoke again, laughing, “Everyone knows she’s a hot piece of ass, okay? There’s not a soul in this building that wouldn’t ride that if they got the chance.”

I rolled my eyes, feeling my whole body flush from disgust and embarrassment.

“I’m just saying that while I fucked her, I would cover her mouth with my hand so she wouldn’t be able to talk.” His laughter was caught off when Juliette interrupted him.

“You’re a fucking pig, Chad.”

“Oh come on, it was just a joke.” He laughed again but Juliette was not done.

“Well it’s not very funny. She knows more about medicine in her “piece of ass” than you do in your entire body. She’s the best doctor I’ve seen in this hospital and smarter than half of the professors at my university. And no, I’m not just saying that because I think she’s hot! Even though, yeah! She’s like, ridiculously hot! When she wears those black stockings, I feel like I can’t even breathe. But her mind is hot too, okay?!”

I didn’t hear anything else but it seemed that Juliette had walked away after that because I heard the resident say to the other woman, “Jesus, she’s got it good for Dr. Randall.”

I sat there feeling completely stunned. I was quite frankly, very surprised, that a student I had only been working with for a week, would defend me.

I actually had quite enjoyed working with Juliette for the past week. She was smart, energetic, and had never been a second late after that first day. I was definitely hard on her, like I was with every other person I taught. But she seemed to take it well, always working hard to correct her mistakes when I would point them out. She did whatever she could to try and stay on my good side, always asking “What can I do for you?”

I always assumed that was because she was afraid of me. I was starting to realize that maybe that was not why.

**Day 29**

She blinked up at me in faux innocence, “Yes, Doctor.” She was breathless and her hips continued to press forward into me. “What do you want me to do?”

**Day 24**

Joe ordered his meal, then I ordered mine, and we both handed our menus to the waitress as she walked off.

Not a moment passed before Joe blurted out, “So what’s going on with you and Juliette?”

I had raised my glass to take a sip of wine but now I spat it back into the glass, “What?!”

He smirked. That was the reaction he had wanted to get. “Ah, so there is something.”

I rolled my eyes, “What on earth are you talking about?”

“I’ve always said she can’t take her eyes off of you but…things have been different the past few days. I’ve seen you staring at her when she’s not looking.” He raised an eyebrow at me, a threat to try and question him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Joe. You should get your eyes checked.” I looked down into my glass.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with it! She’s attractive, you’re attractive.”

“I’m married.” I raised my wine and downed it, not an ounce of feeling in my voice.

Joe looked like he was about to say something and then changed his mind. “Fine.”

Once again rolling my eyes, I put my glass back down, “Okay, what?”

“What I’m saying is that maybe you should…go for it.”

My jaw practically hit the floor and then I laughed because surely he was joking. “You can’t be serious. She’s a child.”

“She’s an adult woman and you are an adult woman.” He raised his hands in defense.

“She’s only a few years older than Brianna, for Christ’s sake!” Joe shrugged, his way of saying, _so?_

I continued with my reasons, “She’s—she’s my student!”

“Only for six more days.”

“You’ve lost your mind, Joe.”

He laughed. “Maybe I have. All I’m saying is, you seem to enjoy being around each other. And I’m not saying you have to marry her. But why not have a little fun? You are attracted to her, I can tell. When was the last time that happened? What is stopping you to not let your guard down for one night?”

The topic was dropped when our food arrived at that exact moment, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t lay awake and think about it all night.

**Day 29**

Before I could think of anything else, I climbed on the bed and straddled her tiny body. She stared at me, her eyes frantically looking everywhere on my body, her mouth parted. She groaned, “Oh my god, you are so hot, Dr. Randall.”

I placed my hands on her belly beneath me and ran them slowly up her torso. 

**Day 17**

I sat in my office, my fingers turning white as I gripped the phone to my ear.

“Frank, I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t just leave.”

“Of course not, Claire. This is just your family. I wouldn’t expect you to possibly care about your own daughter over the bloody hospital!”

I had had enough. This phone call had lasted for 25 minutes and I was done. I slammed my hand on my desk, now allowing my voice to raise itself to full volume.

“How **_DARE_** you try to tell me that I don’t care about my own child! For god’s sake, Frank, I can’t keep having this same fight with you over and over! We have agreed that you would live your life and I would live mine but I am not going to leave my job to pick Bree up from school because YOUR little whore decided that she just couldn’t wait to have you!”

I hardly recognized my voice as my own. I sounded like there was gravel in my throat, my voice was deep and every word felt painful to speak. In a split second, I heard a noise and turned to see Juliette standing in the doorway, now looking like a deer caught in headlights. In a panic, I hung up on Frank, not even bothering to say anything before slamming the phone down.

I tried, ridiculously, to look like I had just hung up from a casual phone call with a friend. But it was useless, I felt tears sliding down my cheeks and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I know she had heard it all, and I felt red hot flames fill the space beneath my skin.

She looked at me, and I looked at her. Too overcome with embarrassment, I finally just sat back down into my chair and placed my head in my hands. I could at least hide the emotional state of my face even though she definitely had already seen that I was crying.

Juliette didn’t say anything and I realized she was giving me the space to pull myself together without having to try and immediately stand up and pretend I was fine. I took that moment appreciatively and closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and then wiped the tears from my face.

Finally, I looked up.

It was awkward, I wanted to diffuse the moment so I joked, “Surprise. The monster DOES have feelings!” I forced a fake laugh. She frowned.

She spoke quietly, “You…you know?”

“What? That people call me ‘the monster’? Yes, I do know.” I looked down and pretended to move some papers around so I wouldn’t have to look her in the eye. Somehow, I knew that she would know I wasn’t as cool about it as I tried to seem.

She walked up to my desk to stand directly in front of me. She waited until I looked up at her. She locked her eyes onto mine.

“I don’t think you’re a monster. I think you’re…wonderful.”

Her eyes seemed to almost change color in that moment. I had never really looked at them before. She always looked at me so intensely that I never held her eye contact for this long.

I gulped, suddenly nervous, as I felt myself become overcome with the urge to reach out and touch her.

“Well…thank you, Juliette. That’s nice of you to say.”

A few more moments passed before she spoke again, “I…I was thinking of a few more tests we could run on Mr. Fields.”

I took in another deep breath and stood, nodding, “Alright. Let’s go.”

**Day 29**

We looked at each other. Exhaustion and weariness was prevalent on both of our faces. Her eyes were tired, I’m sure mine looked much the same. 18 hours in surgery. All for nothing. Mr. Fields had coded 4 times in the last hour. He was dead.

We exited the OR quietly, me throwing my gloves and surgical gear off in a frustrated frenzy. We washed our hands side by side in silence. After all of the other doctors had come and gone, I stood with my hands on the sink, looking through the window at the now empty OR. I stood for so long and it was so quiet that when I finally turned to leave, I was surprised to see Juliette standing there. We didn’t say anything for a long time.

And then, nodding her head, she said, “Let’s get a drink.”

“Okay.” I answered and we both turned and left the room.

At the bar, we didn’t say much. I drank, she drank. I drank another, she drank another. After the third round, she turned to me.

“Tomorrow is our last day together.”

“It is.”

Our eyes locked and I swallowed. She placed her hand on my hand that rested on the bar.

“I’ve learned so much from you over the last month. I’m really grateful for all you have done to help me learn.” She pulled her hand away, the drink making her bold but then she grew nervous once again.

I finished my drink in one gulp, let out a deep breath, then leaned in closer to her.

“I have more I could teach you.”

She looked down and watched as I brought my hand to rest on her knee.

I waited until she was looking at me again and raised an eyebrow at her, “If you think you could handle it?” I took my hand off her knee and grabbed her hand. I placed her hand on my knee.

She visibly gulped as she stared down at her hand on my knee. She picked up her glass and finished her drink as well before turning back to me. She moved her hand up onto my thigh and squeezed experimentally. “Yes, I think I can handle it.”

I blinked and we were at the hotel next door. I barely registered myself asking for a room and sliding my credit card across the counter. Moments later and we were inside the room and I was pressing her against the back of the door.

Our lips met in a desperate meeting, her arms wrapping around me and mine planting themselves on the door on either side of her. Her lips were sinfully soft and our mouths melted together. I spent a few minutes exploring how our lips could fit together in different ways, closing my eyes as I leaned my head the opposite direction, our lips barely coming apart.

I kept our lips locked as I pressed the length of my body into hers. She moaned beneath me and tightened her grip around my waist. Her hips pressed off the wall and into mine and I felt her using the wall behind her to try and push me off of her. She was trying to flip us around, but no, I would not be having that.

I let go of her lips with a harshness that left her gasping. I grabbed her arms and slammed them into the door behind her. My hands closed almost all the way around her delicate wrists and I savored how it felt to have her under my power.

I leaned in to whisper against her lips, our eyes connected the whole time, “We may not be at the hospital…but make no mistake…” I pressed into her even more tightly, our lips just touching, “…I am still in charge here.”

She let out a tiny exhale and I felt the air run across my skin and I shivered. She looked up at me, her green eyes a darker shade of green than usual, lust spreading through the irises like vines.

She blinked up at me in faux innocence, “Yes, Doctor.” She was breathless and her hips continued to press forward into me. “What do you want me to do?” She asked when I continued to stare down at her.

I leaned forward to connect our lips again but pulled away just as quickly after only a moment.

“Take your clothes off and get on the bed.” I said, sounding breathless myself as I released her arms from the wall. I had already accepted that this was happening. And now I just needed it to happen, and happen now.

She blushed deeply but moved to do what I said. She undressed far too slowly for me. I was tipsy and horny, and as soon as she moved to get on the bed, I quickly removed my own clothes. I left my sheer black stockings on.

Before I could think of anything else, I climbed on the bed and straddled her tiny body. She stared at me, her eyes frantically looking everywhere on my body, her mouth parted. She groaned, “Oh my god, you are so hot, Dr. Randall.”

I blushed slightly, thinking about my c-section scar and small stretch marks that lined the insides of my thighs.

I laughed lowly, “Yes, I think I’ve heard you say that before.”

She gaped up at me, “You-you heard me? That day with Chad?” I smirked down at her, bringing both of her hands to touch the tops of my thighs. She actually gasped at that simple contact, her fingers pressing into my skin.

She laughed breathily, “Well, that’s horrifying. I can’t believe you’ve known that this whole time.”

“Why do you think I’ve been wearing my black stockings so much?” I grinned again as she finally removed her eyes from my thighs to look up at me, her fingers trailing across the seam of my stockings.

I placed my hands on her belly beneath me and slowly ran my hands up her torso. She tried to continue speaking but gasped intermittently as I brushed my fingers against her chest and sternum.

“I---oh!—I have spent a lot of time imagining what your body—mmm--would look like underneath that lab coat…”

“Is that so?” I asked, my voice husky as I continued to trace lines across her stomach.

Her eyes were impossibly wide, never leaving the sight of my naked body, “Oh come on…you have to know how unbelievably sexy you are.”

I didn’t allow myself any self-conscious thoughts as I watched her, watching me.

“That day I met you…Jesus, in that skirt.” She blushed even while she moaned at the memory of it.

I had assumed she would be shy and timid, but she was reaching her hands to stroke the skin of my belly. She spoke with such a youthful honesty and I couldn’t deny that it was turning me on.

Her eyes continued to roam across my skin even as she started letting out little moans when I traced around her nipples with my fingernails.

Something occurred to me and I realized this was a conversation that should have happened an hour ago, “Have you—you’ve done this before right?”

It took her a minute to process my words but then she laughed quietly, embarrassed, “Yes, but only a few times.”

I sighed, relaxing, “Okay, good.”

She laughed again, “Don’t worry, I know how it can be sleeping with a virgin. Trust me, I would never make you suffer through that. It’s terrible and never any good.”

My mind went to another strange room, another strange bed, with a strange virgin, a lifetime ago.

And suddenly, that was enough talking for me. Talking would soon make this into an emotional thing. I needed this to be physical, and nothing more.

Moving quickly, I pushed her hands away that were slowly making their way up my torso. I pushed my stockings down and off of me, throwing them to the floor before resuming my position straddling her hips.

I leaned down and brushed our chests together, both of us moaning as I connected our lips together again, this time pushing my tongue into her mouth. Our tongues collided and I moaned at the feeling of her warm and wet tongue pressing against mine. My thoughts jumped ahead to imagine once again having a tongue on me, _a bit lower on my body,_ and I moaned in anticipation.

We continued to kiss and rub our chests against each other as her hands finally got the courage to start roaming my body.

She touched me all over, not staying in one spot for more than a few seconds. Trails of heat were running up and down my body and soon I knew it was time to take things further.

I ran my hand down her body and brushed my fingers against the inside of her thigh. Automatically, her legs spread open and I dipped my finger between them to find her center. She let go of my mouth to cry out almost the second I finally touched her. Taking some time to just feel all of her and get myself acquainted with her, I leaned my head in to kiss the skin of her neck. Her skin felt so smooth underneath me, I wanted to keep kissing every inch of her.

I decided to do just that. I continued my kisses to make a trail across her neck and shoulders. I didn’t think at all, I simply let my lips lead me from one place to the next. Her skin was flushed with red and I could feel her starting to pulse under my hand that was between her legs.

I thought it seemed that she was progressing towards climax surprisingly fast, but then I realized she was young, and probably had not had a lot of experienced partners. Lucky for her, I had spent a lot of time being pleasured in my life and knew exactly how the female anatomy worked.

When my fingers found their mark, she arched up and I moved my head down to her breasts, taking a nipple into my mouth. She moaned a delicious sound and one of her hands came to curl in my hair to hold me to her. Her hips pushed down into my hand and I sped up my motions.

I sucked on one nipple and then moved to the other as my hand began circling her bundle of nerves. I could feel the change instantly. Her whole body tensed and she sucked in her breath, she was very close. I quickly released her nipple and lifted my head up so I could watch her fall apart. I moved my thumb to her clit and then thrust a finger into her opening.

Her eyes were squeezed shut and her pink lips parted as she gasped.

I watched her as my finger stroked her inside and then just as quickly, I pulled my finger out and placed it on her clit and began some figure eights and then moved quickly on to circles. She gasped loudly at the constant change in pace and I smirked, “That’s it…good girl.”

She came the instant I called her that and arched her back high off the bed as her hips pushed into my hand desperately. Her hands clutched the bedsheets next to her as she let out several loud gasping moans as she hit her climax. I kissed her before finally releasing my hand from her.

I rolled off of her and lay on my side, a self-satisfied smirk on my face and my head resting against my hand, my elbow propped up on the pillow next to her. After a few minutes, she was breathing normally again. She laughed and looked over at me.

“Wow.” She let out a breath.

“Enjoy that, did you?” I smirked at her again. She rolled on to her side to face me and gripped my face in her hands and kissed me hard. I let her roll on top of me as she released my mouth and started sucking on the skin of my neck. I sighed at the sensation, not being able to remember the last time someone had given my neck that kind of attention. Her hands were still eagerly running across my body and after a few minutes, I needed more.

I pushed gently on her shoulders until she got the hint. She looked at me and then smiled shyly as she lowered her body on the bed until her face was level with my belly.

“I haven’t done this much.” She whispered and I could see the worry in her eyes.

I pushed gently on her shoulder again, “I’ll tell you what to do.”

Without another word, she buried her face between my legs. Her tongue started with one long lick from the bottom of my opening all the way up to just above my clit. I sighed and relaxed into it, thinking how I didn’t think I would need to help her with much.

She moaned at her first taste and then went back in with twice as much enthusiasm. She was licking me all over, and her fingers gripped my hipbones with surprising strength. I felt the waves of heat beginning in my core and starting to spread up my belly and down into my legs. When she added some sucking into the mix, the heat rocketed into my toes and I curled them, lifting my knees to plant my feet flat on the bed on either side of Juliette’s body.

I pushed my pelvis into her face, needing more. She took direction well and her tongue found its way to my opening. I felt the tip of her tongue exploring around my opening and I breathed out, only slightly frustrated, “Inside.”

She pushed it inside of me all the way and one of my arms lifted to hold onto the bedframe behind my head. “Yes, right there.” I encouraged her to continue.

I moaned in rhythm with her tongue’s motions inside of me. Her tongue pushed even deeper and she wiggled it around as much as she could: side to side, in circles, up and down. Her nose was pressing into the underside of my clit just enough to stimulate it but not enough to finish me. It was deliciously frustrating. “More...please, God, Juliette.” I mumbled as I started tensing knowing that I just needed a little more to finally get my release.

She moaned into me and her tongue withdrew so she could speak, “Oh my god, please say my name again.”

My hips were gyrating in the air, desperate for the stimulation that had just disappeared. It took me a moment to register what she had said. Her youthful eagerness was undeniably turning me on, and now I was growing frustrated at not being given my completion.

I kept the hand that was on the headboard there but brought my other hand to the back of her head. I made eye contact with her so she could see the fire in my eyes and know how serious I was, “Juliette…”

I emphasized the sultriness of my voice to satisfy her and then I pushed her face back in between my legs and said firmly but breathlessly, “Suck on my clit. Now.”

She didn’t need to be told twice. She immediately latched her lips around my bundle of nerves and sucked furiously on it.

“Give me your hand.” I gasped out, breathily. She complied immediately and I brought it up and moved her fingers to squeeze my nipple. A second later and she continued to squeeze on her own and my hand went back to the top of her head. 

She paused her sucking to briefly flick the tip of her tongue across my clit rapidly and then went back to sucking at the same moment that she squeezed my nipple, hard.

I exploded into my oblivion. My hand that was gripping her hair tightened as I ascended into the height of my climax and I moaned, wrapping one of my legs around her shoulders to keep her there.

Even as my climax hit fully and my back arched, I gasped out, “Don’t stop.”

She didn’t and she continued to suck on my clit as I moaned and pushed my head back into the pillow, feeling the currents of heat pulsing through my every vein. My orgasm was extending just as I had wanted it to and new, smaller, pulses of pleasure began to make their way through my nervous system. Finally, the shocks subsided and I let out a moan.

Moments later and she was still sucking and then I felt her tongue start to flick my clit inside of her mouth yet again until it was so intense that my eyes shot open and I sat up, having to abruptly push her away as it suddenly became too much. As soon as I felt the intensity subside, I flopped back down onto the bed, my leg still draped over the back of her shoulder blades and my arms falling dead at my sides.

It was either a moment or an hour later and my eyes opened again and saw her on her side next to me.

“Well…you were certainly committed down there.”

She bit her lip and smiled at me, “I don’t want you to have any reason to get rid of me.”

I didn’t have time to think about what she meant before she spoke again, “I love you.”

I froze. I waited to see if she was kidding. Her eyes bore into mine with such adoration I knew that she was serious.

I sighed and turned on to my back, looking up at the ceiling. “No, you don’t.”

She scooted closer to me and grabbed my hand, “Yes I do. I love you so much.”

As gently as I could, I turned to her and carefully took my hand out of hers. I sat up and pulled myself under the comforter and covered myself as I sat back against the headboard. I waited for her to do the same and then I turned to her.

“This…isn’t love, Juliette. What you feel right now. This is lust. Just two people satisfying the needs of their bodies. I’m so sorry if I misled you…I thought you knew that that is what this was.”

“You mean…you don’t love me?”

She looked absolutely heartbroken and I tried not to make her feel worse, “Juliette, we’ve only known each other a few weeks.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. But so…well, I mean, so you could love me? Not yet, okay, but maybe…someday?”

“Juliette…I’m married. You knew that.”

Again, confusion flashed across her face, “But…I heard you on the phone. You’re not, like, _in love,_ with your husband…are you?”

Her eyes sparkled with hope as she looked over at me. Her youth now hit me in a way that I didn’t consider before.

She continued before I could think of a good answer to her question, “What I mean is…you could love me, in time?”

It hurt me to have to tell her.

“Juliette…I’m sorry but…no.”

Her face crumbled…her forehead scrunched and her mouth turned down at both ends. “How can you say that? How can you be sure that I am so unlovable?”

I sighed and placed my hand gently on hers, “You are not unlovable. This has nothing to do with you.”

She frowned again, “How could it not be about me?”

Sighing again, I tried to think of how to explain this to her. “My heart is not mine to give you, Juliette. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to give you my heart.”

She sniffled, her eyes wet, “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that my heart was claimed a long time ago.”

She interrupted, still confused, “But your husband…”

I interrupted her in the same way, “I’m not talking about Frank.”

I licked my lips, gaining courage to speak, “There was someone else, many years ago. I gave him my heart and when I had to part with him, I did not ask for it back. So no matter how much I might enjoy spending time with you, my heart will always belong to him. And I’m okay with that. But you deserve to find someone who can give you all of themselves. That’s just not me. I can never give you all of myself because I am not my whole self. Not without him.”

**Day 30**

The morning was long. The second I walked in the door, I was grabbed by the elbow and rushed into a 7 hour long emergency surgery. It wasn’t even my patient, they just needed all hands on deck. After finally scrubbing out and quickly stuffing some coffee and a sandwich in my face, I walked towards my office.

Joe was at his desk, having just arrived for his shift. My eyes scanned the room as soon as I walked in, hoping she would be waiting for me here but she wasn’t. I hoped that meant she had done my morning rounds for me since I had been stuck in surgery.

As casually as I could, I asked Joe, “Have you seen Juliette this morning?”

He looked up from his paperwork, “No, but I just got here.”

I nodded and went to the nurses station but before I got there, I saw Doctor Saunders. He was in charge of the mentor/mentee program.

“Dr. Saunders, have you seen Juliette this morning?”

He was in a rush, brushing past me in the hall and shouting over his shoulder at me, “She never showed up. Called an hour ago to say she thanks us for the opportunity but would be taking her summer internship at a hospital in California!” 


End file.
